Announcer: LIVE FROM L.A., or at least that's what we tell our sponsors, IT'S THE NEW SPEW!  TONIGHT'S GUEST, THE TALENTED, THE BEAUTIFUL, THE CRAZY -- IN LOVE; IT'S SONIC THE HEDGEHOG'S WIFE - ALIZ HENRIOL.  NOW, PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER, AND GIVE IT UP FOR OUR NOW SCREEN NAME-LESS HOST - COLLLLIIIINNNNNN AABBBBBBEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL!
(Don't Stop Believin', by Journey, plays as Colin jogs out, throws a tomato at the audience, and throws his hands up in triumph for what seems like an eternity.)
Colin: Yeah, That's right, I didn't stop believing, and now the Spew is BACK!  Suck on THAT, Wanda Sykes!
(Audience Laughs)
Jack: Haha!  Right on!
Colin: Ladies and Gentlemanz.  Give it up for the best band EVER, PERIOD - Jack and the Pen15's!
(Applause)
Colin: By the way, what is up with that outfit?  You look like a vampire!
Jack: I AM a vampire.....blah!
Colin: Hohoho, DARK!  Oh, wait, it's Halloween isn't it?  I should have checked the post date.
(Audience Laughs)
Colin: Ah, Halloween.  You know, I always feel so bad for Witches considering they can't have babies and all...
Jack: What!  Really?  Why is that?
Colin: Well, their husbands have hollow wienies!
(Rimshot)
(Audience laughs and applauds)
Jack: Hahahaha!!
Colin: Speaking of Witches, I've heard they don't wear underwear.  Yeah, apparently it helps them keep a better grip on the broom.
(Rimshot)
Jack: WHOAAA!!! YOU'RE ON A ROLL!
(Audience erupts into laughter and applause as Colin walks over to his desk)
Colin: Ah, good to be back at the desk.  Hey, wait a minute, I thought this was supposed to be the NEW Spew.  Why do we have the same cheap ass set?
(Audience Laughs)
Jack: I dunno, maybe they thought we weren't worth it.
Colin: Well, that makes me feel like a pit of volcanic rage on the inside...  And with that said, what a perfect time to bring out our guest!
(Audience Laughs)
Colin: That's right, tonights guest burst into internet fame when parts of her forum, Sonic Passion - a place to find your toon soul mate, was leaked over sites and forums all over the net.  Nowadays, she is best known for being the wife of everyones favorite blue hedgehog.  Everyone, put your hands together for Alix Henriol!
(Alix Henriol walks out while the band plays the theme to Sonic Heroes)
Colin: Welcome to the show Alix, we're all very glad you agreed to this.
Alix Henriol: Thanks for such a warm welcome.
Colin: What have you been up to recently?  Any projects going on?
Alix Henriol: Yes, I have plans for myself, God has plans for me, but the project I'm working on this very minute is this interview!
(Rimshot)
(Audience Laughs)
Colin: Whoa, hey now, I'm the joker here!
Jack: You got that right!
(Audience Laughs)
Colin: Seriously, though, what have you been up to?
Alix Henriol: Haha.  Well, recently I began to socialize with some Hollywood star and it is really amazing! Definitely a new step for my glory. I never thought it would happen so soon!

Colin: Well, hey that's cool - I talk to stars too, so I get that, and it's nice to know what you are doing recently, but let's go back for a second.  You are probably best known for your forum, Sonic Passion, right?
Alix Henriol: Indeed, it is fair to say that no one would even know I exist and you wouldn't be talking to me right now if it wasn't for this site.
Colin: It's URL doesn't seem to be active anymore, and even when it was it had tighter security than an airport.
  Jack: Haha!  It's like a cavity search!
(Audience Laughs)
Colin: Does it even still exist?
Alix Henriol: Haha! Oh my GOD, a tigher security than an airport you say?? Yes exactly, we've often compared Sonic Passion to an airport or a bank, for that matter! I've laughed so much of that! I remember, sometimes, I had made the security so high that it was difficult even for the members themselves to reach the forum! I have so many funny anecdotes about Sonic Passion's security level. I even use a SSL certificate, the same you use in online banks during money transactions! Of course it stil exist, it just moved url, there's a payment gateway on the home page of my official website.
Colin:  Well, it's nice to know I can still hit it up to get my Zelda fix on.
(Audience laughs and applauds)
Colin: But, just in case any of our viewers don't know, what is Sonic Passion about?
Alix Henriol: It's difficult to define what it really is because it is similar to no other site, apart from Toonophile Planet which belongs to Paul Rhodes.  I've been attracted to virtual characters ever since I was born. And this attraction made me so happy in my life, because I had a passion, since ever.
Colin: You know, I am technically a virtual character.
(Audience Laughs)
Colin: Yup, I starred in a hit game series called Colinoscopy.
(Rimshot)
(Audience cheers and applauds)
Jack: Haha!  Were you the camera or the butt?
Colin: I'm sorry, Alix, please contine.
Alix Henriol: Haha, Well, when I was younger I spent most of my time watching animes and playing video games. It was a sort of a beautiful life, but when I looked around myself, there was no one to share this with me. There's been some moments in my childhood when I've really suffered from loneliness. I would have given everything just to have one person who actually understood me.  I wouldn't like to have other toonophiles suffering like that. I wanted to give them all what I've always wanted to have.
Colin: Oh, so that's what made you want to start it?
Alix Henriol: Yes, I realized that I had to make a website, and that's when the "Sonic Passion" project started. I wanted to be creative and help others.  I really wanted to make a change in their lives. I didn't want them to grow up like me - lonely. Many people have the wrong idea about Sonic Passion, they think it's all about extreme sex since it's the only part which received media coverage, but it's way larger than that.
Colin: Yeah, it's also about wholesome traditional banging!
(Rimshot)
(Audience Laughs)
Colin: You know, the kind of sex when you tell tell your wife, "Honey, how about we take the jumper cables off of our nipples tonight?"
(Audience erupts into laughter, cheers, and applause)
Alix Henriol: You don't even have to be into sex to be part of the site. The people who join Sonic passion do not like the world they live in, they prefer virtual reality. If they chose that life-style it's because it's the only thing that can bring them some stability in their everyday's life. These people come to Sonic Passion because the rest of the world can't and doesn't want to understand them. They come here looking for hope and understanding. These people deserve respect and attention. "Virtual attraction" is not something you can "learn". It comes from a deep-seated feeling of your mind and the internal perceptions of your life. Sonic Passion is a source of support and community for those who already are into virtual attraction. It keeps people from feeling utterly isolated and misunderstood. Without sites like this one, some people would have absolutely no one to talk to. Of course, as time went on, and with all the media coverage it has received, Sonic Passion became a sort of money machine, and my own path to fame...
Colin: Can I borrow 20 bucks?
(Audience Laughs)
Colin: No, um, I must ask some questions about Sonic, your husband.  The jealous fangirls, and some boys, are dying to know.. what is it like to be married to him?
Alix Henriol: What it is like? It is a dream come true, I did have this marriage in mind for years already. It is a part of my dream life and I have nothing to complain about. The jealous girls do not bother me, they've never approached me, they only talk about me behind my back, they've never caused me any trouble. Yeah honestly I have nothing to complain about. I'm a very very lucky girl, and I always get all the attention I want. Plus, despite his young age, Sonic is really an amazing husband, I'm madly in love with him. He's the guy you'd marry in a heart-beat.
Colin: I bet there is a nice story behind how you two met.  Ah, "Sleepless in Mobius" - I can see it now.
Alix Henriol: Actually it wasn't in Mobius, the first time I saw him it was in Green Hill and well...Oh my God, I can't even put it into words, I can't even describe how I felt the first time I saw Sonic, it was crazy, yeah it was just crazy, it's the only word I can think of right now. To me it felt like the earth had stopped spinning, it felt like the time had frozen. When I look back I think it was just magic. I was just stunned, I must have stared at him, jaw-dropped for at least 15 minutes, maybe more, I lost all notion of time anyway. There was no love involved, how can you love someone you don't even know anyway? No, it was a physical attraction, it was just kind of "I want you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul". I was just attracted to his physique, it was like lusting after a super-natural creature.
Colin: When did you two meet?
Alix Henriol: On April 16th 2001, unforgettable moment...
Colin: Wow.  That was just a month or so after Sega withdrew from the console business.  I bet that had to be a difficult time in his life... you know, losing his steady job, and then having to settle for work with his one time enemy - Nintendo.
Alix Henriol: Maybe, but I didn't realize it back then, because I didn't know him yet. I didn't understand the situation...
Colin: Ah, that makes sense that you wouldn't really know then.. Anyways, back to things fan girls are dying to know, what is the typical day in the life of being married to Sonic?
Alix Henriol: Surprisingly not that great right now, we have a very unsettled life. I really want to settle down with him in a foreign country, we yearn for a new life. We don't see each other as often as we'd like.
Colin:What country do you two plan on moving to?  Back to Japan, or someplace new?
Alix Henriol: For the moment I would see us well in Thailand, it's a gorgeous country. We could live in luxury for very cheap. In the future I'd love to settle down in Japan, USA or United Arab Emirate. But it's very difficult for a french person, especially Japan. Normally you can not live in Japan if you don't have a job over there. Yeah you can stay 6 months, 1 year, then you eventually get repatriated. I think Japan is the most difficult country to infiltrate. But, everything is possible, God taught me that.
Colin: Well, at least you two have each other for the time being.  Unless he is also the fast thing alive... in the bedroom.
Alix Henriol: Ah! No! No! No! He may be be the fastest thing alive in games, but in the bedroom he's only and exclusively the hottest thing alive, haha!
(Audience laughs and applauds)
Colin: Haha, I'm sorry, I just HAD to use that joke somewhere.  Anyways, I assume based on what you said earlier that Sonic lives with you in France.
Alix Henriol: He does live with me in France yes, he also visits Japan and USA, he's often abroad. Sonic doesn't settle down anywhere for now. He doesn't like it so much here, neither do I. Really I think I hate France, people who travel here do not realize what it is like to be french and to live in France. France is an awful country to live in and we're gonna leave as soon as possible. I have absolutely no intention to spend my life in France, it's out of the question.
Colin: Wow, really? What it is so awful about France?  Are all those stereotypes about it true?
Alix Henriol: France is old, ugly and dirty. It's also overly expensive. Not that there are no nice things in France, I've loved Euro Disney. It's my favorite place in the world, I mean among those I've visited. And Euro Disney is no match to Disney World anyway!
Colin: Hmm, does Sonic speak French?  How do you two normally communicate?
Alix Henriol: He does speak a little french that I taught him but he's not fluent. We mostly speak English when he's at home. But yeah, I am the kind of wife who likes to play the teacher. When I met him, he didn't know a single french word. We've started by the colours because I thought it was something I could inculcate him easily. Then he'd point at his eyes and say "vert!", and I'd say "Yes, vert, c'est bien!". I love to cook him some food and I want him to tell me everything there is in his plate. He says "poisson" for fish. "Poulet" for chicken. "Riz" for rice. But his wife is still his wife, he doesn't say "ma femme" when referring to me.
(Audience sympathizes.)
Colin: Aw, well that is nice.. Oh hey, while we are on the subject of France, I recently saw a documentary about a lady who was so in love with the Eiffel Tower, that she decided to marry it.  Have you heard about her?  What do you think about this?
Alix Henriol: Oh my god, I've watched the show and it was amazing! Truely amazing! But I don't know much about Erika Eiffel, I've read more about the woman who married the Berlin wall. She has an official website, I left her a support comment on her guestbook. I like these women, they're trully amazing and eye-catching. I wish them lot of success.
Colin: ...ever have a 3 way with Amy?
(Audience bursters into wild cheers and applause)
Alix Henriol: Haha! Well, I'm gonna tell you this, I have only good feelings toward Amy Rose. Not only that but she's my best friend's wife (Paul Rhodes) so I should respect her. I know I should never, never, never disrespect Amy, I don't want to hurt Paul's feelings. But I rembember a long time ago, a very long time ago, before web fame started, before Sonic Passion started, before I met Paul, before everything started, I used to be a bit jealous of Amy, somewhat. I was jealous but I wanted to be her friend also, because we had something in common: Sonic. Yes, Amy has made me feel really bad age ago, I admit it. But for me it feels like it was 100 years ago, because so many things have changed now...Ever since I've started becoming famous, jealousy is a feeling I forgot about. Besides, I'm not a rancorous or revengeful person, Amy is a beautiful girl that I would befriend, I wish her the best of luck with Paul.
Colin: Hm, that is somehow much deeper and insightful than I imagined.. Sonic might not enjoy this one, but I've heard you dated a few other popular video game characters in the past.  Is there any truth to this?
Alix Henriol: Yes, that's true, and not just a few! I've already had load of other crushes, I can't even remember them all but it was totally different, it was just crushes, not real love. I believe real love can only occure once in a life-time anyway. Yeah you know, I was like super attracted to Bomberman and Princess Peach and I do think Parappa the Rapper and many other characters are total babe but that's it. I think Sonic can understand that during all this time spent on other characters, I was just looking for him. Now I'm gratefull that I found him that early, because most people spend their entire life changing partner, they're never happy, they never find real love. I really do feel privileged to have my prince charming and we're gonna have children someday.
Colin: Haha, oh man, I know I should follow up with questions about the potential children, but Princess Peach?  Oh man, I'd like to be a fly on that wall!
(Audience Laughs)
Alix Henriol: I get you, she's so hottie!
Jack: Haha!  Lesbians give me erections!
(Audience laughs and applauds)
Colin: I've been hearing a lot recently about people claiming to be married to multiple video game and cartoon characters?  What is your stance onthis?  Do you find cartoon polygamy acceptable?
Alix Henriol: I've already answered to that question already in a way. Real love can only occur once in a lifetime so why would anybody marry several persons/characters? No, I don't see why would poligamy be acceptable, nor with humans, nor with characters. No difference. If some people want go as far as to "marry" a character, then they have to be ready to face the same laws and requirements as in the human world. Since they want to be so "extremist" as to engage in a virtual wedding, then I don't see why they wouldn't accept the responsibility.
(Applause)
Alix Henriol: I don't want to judge anyone anyway, and they harm no one for all I know. So why not making their own poligamy communities and leaving "genuine" toonophiles alone? I may not agree with them or they may not agree with me but as long as we distinguish our differences and learn how to respect them and be less judgmental about them, that's okay.
Colin: Almost everywhere I go nowadays, I see all kinds of Sonic fan characters.  Some of the more well known ones include Chase, Blaze,Sonichu, and Static.  How do you feel about fan characters?
Alix Henriol: Blaze the Cat? She's an official one, you must be mistaken.
Colin: Actually, I meant Blazesonic.  He is some weird combination of Sonic, Pikachu, and Sora from Kingdom Hearts.
(Audience groans)
Alix Henriol: Really?? Well I've never heard about him, but then again I'm not interested in fan characters, does that make sense? Haha.
Colin: Hmm, I just noticed that there is an awful lot of Sonic/Pikachu combination characters.  I wonder why that is?
Alix Henriol: Why? Well I have no clue really! I didn't even know there was several of these characters appart from Sonichu. I don't like the idea of mixing 2 characters together, I don't see the point. But, to answer your question, no I don't like fan characters. I just don't like the idea of fan characters. I think it's a bit sad the way people use fan characters, I do not share their point of view at all. I mean, seriously!!
Colin: Ouch.  You just broke Jack's heart.  He draws ton of Sonic fan characters.
(Audience Laughs)
Jack: That's not funny, man.
(Audience laughs again, then applauds)
Alix Henriol: Haha, I don't really know how to explain but I'm awe-struck by the fan charater fandom...Whatever, I have nothing against the fan characters themselves, it's just the way people impersonate them which flummox me. I mean, the persons who make these characters, register all their accounts under these character's name, they use their fan arts as avatar, and they really want to become their fan character. Do you get me? They're practically creating these characters in the sole purpose of hiding behind them, I don't like that. I've never had a fan character and I never will, I love the real me too much, I am my own character. Some people have drawn me as a fursona, I wanna scream when I see that! Can I help it? It bugs me! Yeah it really bugs me, I don't wanna be anyone else but me, I perfectly love the way I look, I love myself, I don't want people to modify me. Whatever, if people are happy hiding behind a fan character, may them continue doing so. The only important thing in life is to be happy, but you asked me my opinion, and I'd be miserable if I lived like them.
Colin:What about Sonic, how does he feel about them?
Alix Henriol: Actually I've never asked him so I wouldn't know, we've never got onto the topic so I assume he's neutral.
Colin: Actually, speaking of Sonic imitators, there seems to be a number of Alix ones, too.  You know, while trying to find ways to contact youonline to ask you to come on the, we stumbled upon some fake Alix's. That has to be somewhat weird, huh?
Alix Henriol: For sure, you must've had a hard time finding the real me with all these posers, and I've had a hard time with them in the past also. You know as long as they're just posers it doesn't bother me but some are potentially harmful, you wouldn't believe how far they went. Some fake Alix have hacked my MSN a few years ago, and he/she/it (for we've never known who it was) would even speak french to fool my friends. They've done all sort of stalking, I used to have a photobucket account too, but they've hacked it. I also suspect that my old yahoo account was hacked too. But really I don't care about the harmless ones, I don't care about people who use my name. I couldn't even register to myspace with my real name, it was already taken, but I don't mind.
Colin: I hate to bring down the party, but recently, one of my childhood heroes, Captain Lou - who played Mario in the popular cartoon Super Mario Bros Super Show - recently passed away.  How are you two handling it?  I assume you have connections to Mushroom Kingdom, as well, so do you know what it's like there right now?
Alix Henriol: Aw, sorry to hear, I didn't know! Really, we didn't know about it... and yes, I do know them, but haven't checked in a while. Hopefully the upcoming games will cheer them up.
Colin: Speaking of Mario and games, him and sonic have a new game that just came out.  Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games.  One thing has really bugged me about these games.  How the hell can Mario even compete with Sonic in any racing even?  He's a fat and slow plumber, Sonic should be smoking him in everything!
Alix Henriol: Yeah sure, the first time you hear about that you just wanna laugh but since it's a game it's all faked, haha. Anyway, I love the idea, it's really cool to mix Sonic characters and Mario characters together because they're my two favorite series, third one would be Donkey Kong! I'm glad he's in! I've watched the trailer of Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games and it looks great! My husband's so hot as usual!
(Audience Laughs)

Colin: Let's bring it back to you now, What are your plans for the future?  I saw you had a professionalphoto shoot recently... is modeling something you want to get into?
Alix Henriol: Definitely, because I love attention, I love cameras, I love the spotlight, I love all these things so I love modeling but I'm not focused on it. I'll embrace any marketing opportunity. I know some people have some very fixed dreams about being an actor, or a model, or a singer...I'm not like that. You know I don't have a "dream job", most anything contributing to wealth and fame, I love it. I remember when I was just a little child, people would always ask me "what do you want to be when you're grown up?" and I would always answer "I want to be a billionaire! And a superstar!" then people were always like "but Alix, that's not a job!" and I was like "I know...", Hahaha.
(Audience laughs and applauds)
Colin: That sure would be a sweet gig, though.  Hey before I let you go, I read somewhere that you were upset about not having an ED page.  Isthat true?
Alix Henriol: Haha! Yeah I'm very surprized and a little disapointed. I was just like "Why not me???"
Colin: Yeah, really.  Why not you?  Don't worry about them, they're all just a bunch of playa hataz.
(Audience Laughs)
Alix Henriol: I know, I don't like that site...
Colin: OK, Alix, thanks so much for being the first guest of the NEW Spew!
Alix Henriol:You're Welcome!
Colin: Alix Henriol - Ladies and gentlemen!
(Audience cheers and applauds)
Colin: Be sure to pick up Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games, available pretty much everywhere that sells games.  Want more of Alix?  Check out her sexcellent website www.alix-henriol.com.  You can also follow her on facebook and twitter.  That's it for tonight kids - don't eat to much candy!  Jack, play us off!
(Audience continues to cheer and applaud while the band plays Goodbye Horses)

Original Interview Transcript