Announcer: WELCOME TO YET ANOTHER EDITION OF THE SPEW. HERE'S YOUR SOON TO BE DECOMPRESSED HOST, QYYYYYYYYYYZEEEEEEEEEX!!!
(Fancy intro music plays, as Qyzex steps out from behind the curtain)

Qyzex: Today, we have a guest that I'm sure most our viewers are familiar with. That's right, Morris Smith, better known as Koufuyo, will be here tonight! You know, I'm so excited, let's just bring him out right now!
(Band starts to play the Koufuyo Rap as Kou waddles towards the desk, waving at the audience.)
Koufuyo: What is up?
Qyzex: Well, first off, let's start this off slow...Art, why must you focus on this so called.... art?

Koufuyo: Because one can inspire folks and release energy from this obscure gift.. It's most enjoyable to view and execute.. also new ideas can be conveyed in such a manner.
Qyzex: With as much focus as proclaim to put into your art, if you focused that much on something else... like sex, hell, you could write a whole new Kama Sutra.  Ever read the Kama Sutra?
Koufuyo: Oh no.. What is that?
(Audience laughs.)
Qyzex: It's a great book. Historical, actually.
(Rimshot.)
Jack: Haha! Historically sexual!
Qyzex: You'd be interested in that.  It's about different sexual positions.  Quite a wonderful read.
Koufuyo: I'll check it out indeed... I was interested in these type of things, though, I just want to produce more pieces. However, I am tried for time, and the guidance counselors, teachers, and friends tell me I will overwork myself if I do it too much but I want more...

Qyzex: Well, you just have to have fun with it...  Anyways, on to my next question... These women friends of yours... tell me a bit about them. I'm, well, quite interested in them.
Koufuyo: Oh they like to draw as well I met them the first day of college, they are kinda chubby and listen to death metal they are the nicest folks to me and I hangout with them more than most folks.. also I can help them with cleaning stuff because they are a tad messy
Qyzex: Well, you know what they say about messy girls, right?
Koufuyo: what?
Qyzex: Well, I'm not quite sure... I hoped you had an answer.
(Audience laughs.)
Qyzex: But honestly, they don't sound like they'd be messy.  I mean, they DID clean up the mess YOU made.
(Long pause.)
Qyzex: ....with their mouths
Koufuyo: Oh my... there are 4 folks in general I hang out with like everyday, but I talk to everyone I can at the school.  I am in many clubs, and do much volunteer work.
Qyzex: Women like a man who volunteers.  Well.... usually.  I volunteered to clean this one girls pipes... I don't think we were on the same page.
(Audience Laughs.)
(Rimshot.)
Koufuyo: Oh. I see.
Jack: WOOOSH!
(Jack makes a hand motion over his head.)
(Audience laughs and applauds.)
Koufuyo: I just want to do good things for people, you know.
Qyzex: I heard someone did a good thing for you the other day.  So, how was that handjob?
Koufuyo: It was ok.
Qyzex: Just ok? What, have you had better, or something?
Koufuyo: It was the weirdest thing ever.  I never felt like that before..
(Audience sympathizes.)
Qyzex: So wait, she like, pulled you into the bathroom and did this, just outta nowhere?  And was it one of your chubby friends?
Koufuyo: Yeah.  Actually, two of them.
(Audience gasps.)
Qyzex: What the hell.... YOU HAD TWO OF THEM?  You're a pimp and don't even know it yet!

Koufuyo: Oh my!
(Audience erupts with laughter and applause.)
Qyzex: I can see it now... in the future, you'll have the  largest prostitution business in all of America.  Washing the Turtle: $200...
(Audience laughs.)
Koufuyo: Oh no. That's no good.
Qyzex: Artistic Focus: $300... The Oh My Special: $500...
Koufuyo: I see...
(Audience laughs.)
Qyzex: So, these women, did they take turns or something?  Did they have their boobies out?  Come on man, details!
Koufuyo: At the same time, Oh yes.  And they were most exposed indeed.
Qyzex: Ok, now I know you're retarded... I mean, you DIDN'T TAKE PHOTOS?
Koufuyo: Was I supposed to?
Qyzex: Yes. it's a crucial step of American manhood.
Koufuyo: Did you know that I have the Aspergers? If you guys hadn't noticed by now.
Qyzex: I think it was kinda obvious.
Koufuyo: Oh, I see.  People kinda notice that after awhile.
Qyzex: But... It's still.... just... two women at once?  In a public restroom?
Koufuyo: No, in their bathroom.
Qyzex: Oh, ok, good. Public restroom's are quite unsanitary.  You could have gotten AIDS from them.
(Rimshot.)
(Audience laughs.)
Koufuyo: Oh my.
Qyzex: So, I have a mission for you.  Get some photos of these women, and all the men on DAPshow will throw you a big party.
Koufuyo: Ok. I'd have to ask them to get the pics because I never get the pics taken.
Qyzex: Whatever works, my friend.  Now, tell me... were their boobies all up in yo grill?
(Audience laughs.)
Koufuyo: Oh yes.
Qyzex: Please tell me you took some action on them.  Tell me you just motor boated them.
(Audience laughs.)
Koufuyo: Oh. They did that to each other.
(Audience erupts with cheers and applause.)
Qyzex: So, as you must have found out, your dick didn't explode.  OR DID IT?
Koufuyo: Oh I thought that this stuff was bad, and that one must focus on the animation and design.
Qyzex: Oh, you MUST focus on animation and design... that's why the Kama Sutra will help you.  It'll totally help you get animated with chicks.
(Audience laughs.)
(Rimshot.)
Jack: Haha!  16 frames until orgasm!
Qyzex: Another question... has this experience shown you the light?
Koufuyo: Oh.  A little but I must focus because that is how one can alter the future.
Qyzex: Ron Jeremy focused and altered our future.  He truly is a legend.  Agree?
Koufuyo: Oh, I see.
(Audience laughs.)
Koufuyo: It's just.. I don't know about all of these things.
Qyzex: ...and The Hef.  Another great
Koufuyo: Oh.
Qyzex: You like Nishikawa's art, right?
Koufuyo: Oh yes.
Qyzex: You know how he got so good?  He masturbates before he draws.  Every single time.
(Audience laughs.)
Koufuyo: Oh, I see.  Does that make one more relaxed?
Qyzex: It certainly does. It helps your brush/pencil strokes as well.
(Audience cheers and applauds.)
Koufuyo: I sometimes get to nervous with that one.
(Rimshot.)
Qyzex: I've tried it... it does help. I'm not as dedicated as he is, though.
Koufuyo: Oh, I am the dedicate. However, I always get stressed out.
Qyzex: OH, THEN YOU NEED TO FAP!
(Audience laughs and applauds.)
Qyzex: It relieves stress...  Did you not feel relaxed when those chubby chicks jerked you off?
Koufuyo: Oh, indeed I was most relaxed.
(Audience bursts into cheers and a wild applause.)
Qyzex: Well there you go. I say, go challenge Phil, and before working on any of your pages, just rub one out, or have those chubby chicks do it... and you'll SURELY win.  Without getting stressed...  I haven't done it in so long, I've stopped drawing all together!
Koufuyo: Not that, I have like a billion assignments, I have to do the animation for the club because sky blue animation company is company is coming, and the psychology class wants some major designs... plus I have to do 3D animations, make a play for acting and movement...
Qyzex: Well, fine, don't do it... be stubborn.
Koufuyo: I want to do it, but I know I am going to crash.
Qyzex: I'll just have to go over there and get those girls to help me improve my art.  Then you wont have them anymore.
Koufuyo: I have to be at my best when drawing.  No distractions, and I always have to do the best of my ability.
Qyzex: Well, you'll never be a great if you don't release your tension, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN... wait...  Let me put it in a way you'll understand.  You'll never become the ultimate draw if you do not wash the turtle.
(Audience laughs and applauds.)
Koufuyo: Oh ok... but what I mean is that I have to do well in school, too.  The only thing that stopped me last time was the  tablet malfunctioning during break, and I was only able to do the 3D.
Qyzex: Well, I wish you the breast of luck in school.
(Rimshot.)
Qyzex: And next time those girls want to have fun... ask for a blowjob instead.  You'll like, gain super skills at drawing for a short time.
Koufuyo: Oh my!  What I mean is I just need more focused drawing...
(Audience laughs.)
Qyzex: Trust me, it'll help you focus.  And with that, I think that concludes our interview.  Thank you for being on... THE SPEW.
(Audience cheers and applauds.)

     

Koufuyo can be seen on DEVIANTART.